


What If...

by pulangaraw



Series: Happy Triad [1]
Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Some references to episodes, five times fic, from angsty to happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 15:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13573791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulangaraw/pseuds/pulangaraw
Summary: ’What if…’ Robbie thinks as he lies in bed at night, unable to sleep. What if he actually did something about these feelings…





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> IDEK what happened. I guess five-times-fic is still my jam?

_’What if…’ Robbie thinks as he lies in bed at night, unable to sleep. What if he actually did something about these feelings…_

**Possible Outcome One**

They’re on Robbie’s sofa, comfortably into their third bottle and more or less watching the programme on the telly. It’s a normal weekday evening, they’d had a pub dinner after work and then Robbie had invited James for a nightcap. They have done this often enough over the last six years that it’s become just one of those things that they do. 

They’re not just colleagues anymore, they’re friends. And even though Robbie has been wishing they could be more than friends, he’s never acted on his feelings. There are times when he thinks James is flirting with him, but he’s never been sure, so he’s never indulged in flirting back. 

But tonight, Robbie’s had a bit too much to drink and he’s feeling just a little too brave, so he leans over and presses a kiss to James’ cheek before he can think too much about it. 

James freezes for a moment, then pulls back to turn and look at him. 

“Sir?”

What felt like bravery a moment ago feels like insane recklessness now. James’ expression is carefully blank as he looks at Robbie. That’s not good. The only times when James’ face is that blank is when he disagrees with Robbie but doesn’t want to say something because he doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. This has been a mistake. 

Robbie shrugs and tries to fix it. “Sorry, lad, just feeling a bit emotional tonight. Ignore me.”

James kindly plays along. “Of course, sir. I understand. No harm done.”

They both turn back to the telly and finish watching the programme in silence. When it’s done James politely bids him goodnight. 

\----

Three weeks later, James quits his job and moves to Cambridge to start a university course. They exchange a few emails now and then, but over time their friendship fizzles out and dies. Robbie never stops blaming himself for ruining what they had by wanting more than he should. 

 

**Possible Outcome Two**

They’re on James’ sofa, comfortably into their third bottle and more or less watching the programme on the telly. The detritus of their takeaway meal is still scattered over the coffee table, but Robbie is too comfortable to deal with it right now. 

It’s a Friday evening after a rather stressful few weeks, but the latest case is wrapped up and even the paperwork is mostly dealt with. Robbie feels a bit celebratory: they’ve done a good job on a complicated case of B&E/murder and they’re due a free weekend. 

James glances sideways at him and gives Robbie a small smile. “You look happy tonight, sir.” 

“Got good reason to be happy, haven’t I? Case is closed, murderer is locked away and we have a gloriously free weekend stretched ahead of us.”

James’ smile widens and he bumps his shoulder into Robbies. “Indeed.”

It’s the perfect moment, if there ever is one. Robbie takes another swallow of beer to fortify himself, then says, “James, I’ve been wondering…”

“Sir?”

“I just… you’re me best mate and all and I wondered if…”

James scoots back a bit so he can turn and look at Robbie properly. Robbie feels his face flush. Dammit, he can’t do this. 

He doesn’t have to. James’ face falls, clearly he’s read everything he needs to know in Robbie’s expression. He pulls back a little further and shakes his head. 

“I’m sorry, sir, I like you and you’re right, we are friends… but I don’t… I can’t…”

Robbie nods. Of course he can’t. It was a stupid idea in the first place. 

“Sorry, lad. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Forget I said anything, yeah?”

James nods. 

Ten silent minutes later, Robbie climbs into a taxi to take him home. 

\----

Not long after, Robbie throws himself into his relationship with Laura. Now that there isn’t any point in hoping for more with James, he can finally let it go and concentrate on her. He does love her, dearly, and she deserves to be with someone who gives her his whole attention. 

It’s one of the very good reasons he has for finally putting in for retirement. It really has nothing to do with getting away from being faced with something he can’t have every day. It’s not James’ fault, though, and the lad deserves the promotion, deserves to work with someone who is focused solely on the work. Deserves to make his own mark as a detective. 

James’ decision to resign too is a bit of a shock, but Robbie’s known the lad for long enough that he knows it’s what James needs at that point. It’s not about him or about them, it’s about James finding out who he is, after all. Maybe that’s for the best. 

 

**Possible Outcome Three**

They’re on Robbie’s sofa, more or less watching the programme on the telly. They’re both too deep into a bottle of single malt. James is still brooding over the death of Vicky and his own near escape from a similar ordeal. Robbie himself is feeling more than shaky still at the thought of how close he’d come to lose James. 

He drinks another mouthful, the whiskey burning pleasantly on the way down. He’s not really watching the telly at all anymore, having abandoned it in favour of watching his sergeant. James, even drunk as he is, doesn’t take long to notice that he’s being scrutinised. 

“Sir?”

Robbie shakes his head. “Nothing, lad. Just thinkin’.”

“I’m fine, sir, really.”

“You’re not, at least not right now. But you will be.”

James gives him a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

They keep looking at each other. The moment lengthens and turns into something different. Robbie later couldn’t tell who moved first, but they end up mashed together, half hugging, half kissing, half sobbing. There’s more passion in it than Robbie’s experienced in over a decade and yet it’s uncomfortable and not quite right.

They break apart, out of breath and out of balance in every way. 

“This isn’t a good idea,” James says eventually.

“I know,” Robbie answers quietly, his heart breaking at the words. 

It’s a testament to how drunk James really is that he keeps talking, “You’re my boss and I don’t want to stop working with you. I’m too young for you. Then there’s Laura... and this is really just the adrenaline from the case, it’s not really how we feel…”

“Yeah,” Robbie whispers. He doesn’t have the words to debate James’ points. They’re the same arguments he’s told himself over an over whenever he’s entertained thoughts of letting things with James go beyond friendship. He’s never been able to find a convincing argument against them in his own debates, much less now that they’re coming from James. 

Shortly after, Robbie makes his way to his bedroom and James curls up on the couch. 

The next morning they wordlessly decide never to mention what’s happened and just continue on like they always have. 

\----

Two weeks later, James takes a week off and goes on a trip to Slovakia. 

They’ve mostly put the awkward evening behind them. Robbie is glad he hasn’t ruined their friendship with his unwanted feelings. He’s getting them under control, pushing himself to spend more time with Laura. Laura who actually wants him in this way. It’s good, it’s comfortable. It’s the right thing to do. 

When James returns and meets him and Innocent at the pub, things are a bit awkward for a few minutes. There’s half a moment when Robbie thinks that James might have changed his mind, but he pushes the thought away as wishful thinking. 

Then Laura comes in and the baby gets thrown out the window with the bathwater so to speak. It’s for the best, really. Whatever private, little worries James might have harboured over that drunken evening, he’ll be able to lay them to rest now. 

If James’ tone seems harsher, if he seems even more snarky and introverted than usual, it’s probably just Robbie’s imagination. The lad’s got his own life to live and Robbie doesn’t need to be treated with kid-gloves. They’re okay, really. 

 

**Possible Outcome Four**

They’re on James’ sofa, more or less watching the programme on the telly. Robbie prescribed them both Indian takeaway and a few beers as remedy for their ‘existential flu’. 

“Feeling any better?” he asks when the credits roll. 

“Almost,” James says, then turns so he’s facing Robbie. “What you said earlier, me needing a partner… what if I already found one?”

Robbie frowns, taking a few moments to turn this over in his head. “Really?” he asks when he thinks he’s figured it out. 

James shrugs. “I know you’ve been looking. And I’ve been looking and I know there’s arguments against it, but…”

“But we’ll never know if we don’t give it a try?” Robbie finishes his sentence for him.

“Something like that.”

“What if it doesn’t work out?”

“Then we’ll go back to where we are now. Or if all goes to pieces you retire and I find a third career.”

“I’d never want that for you-,” Robbie starts. James presses a finger to his lips to silence him.

“I know that, Robbie. And I vote that we keep the worrying for when there’s an actual reason to worry.”

“Who are you and what have you done with me sergeant?” Robbie jokes. 

James smiles, then leans forward and presses his lips to Robbies. 

\----

They make it work for a while. 

Outwardly their work doesn’t suffer and they seem to be fine keeping their private lives separate from their roles as governor and sergeant. Robbie is really quite proud of them. But the truth is that they’re still who they always were and all those arguments against this ever working out - the ones they refuse to discuss - just keep surfacing whenever they’re not looking. 

James, despite appearances to the contrary, is still a young man and when Robbie would prefer to just spend an evening cuddling on the sofa, James wants to drag him to this lecture or that concert. The fact that they can’t tell anyone about their relationship for fear of repercussions at work means that Laura is still hopefully dancing around Robbie more often than not. It grinds them down, slowly but surely. 

Then James gets a lethal syringe almost stuck in his neck and Robbie just can’t do this. He can’t lose someone else he cares about, not like that. 

That evening, they’re sitting on the sofa with takeaway Indian and beers - and the irony is not lost on Robbie - and Robbie is screwing up his courage to speak. 

“James, we need to talk-,” he starts. 

At the same time, James says, “This isn’t working, Robbie.” 

They both fall silent. 

“I’m sorry,” Robbie says.

“Me too.”

“Think we can go back to being friends?”

“I’d like that,” James answers. 

\----

They mostly manage. 

A couple months later, James puts in for a week’s leave to help build an orphanage in Slovakia and Robbie finally moves on.

Some days are awkward, some days aren’t, but overall they’re okay working together, even if their friendship hasn’t survived entirely unscathed. There’s a good chance that with time, they can put their failed experiment behind them. 

 

**Possible Outcome Five**

They’re on Robbie’s sofa, the Chinese takeaway is almost eaten up and Robbie drains the last swallow of his wine. Laura is snuggled comfortably into his side, nursing her own glass of red. 

“I don’t think James is alright,” Robbie says, apropos of nothing. 

“Because of your retirement plans?”

Robbie pulls a face. “I think it’s partly that, but it goes deeper. I don’t think the lad’s been happy for a long while. I’ve… been thinking about it and I’ve an idea, but I’m not sure… I’d like to run it by you?”

“Not like you to be hesitant about sharing ideas,” Laura says playfully.

“Yeah, well. This one’s a bit of an odd one, I’m afraid.”

Laura sits up so she can face him and give him her full attention.

Robbie takes a deep breath, then plunges in. “I think he’s only stuck with the job because of me for a while now. I told you he was talking about resigning off and on over the last few years. Told me, if I was going he’d go to and all that. I think he’s going to do just that the moment my retirement comes through.”

“But this isn’t just about the job, is it?” Laura asks.

“No. I think he’s only lasted this long because… well, because he… he likes me. As in like like…”

Laura’s lips quirk. “You mean that he’s in love with you.”

Robbie feels himself blush. 

“And how do you feel about that?” 

This is the hard part. “I can’t say that I haven’t… that I don’t… Ah, sod it, Laura, I think I love him too.” 

There. It’s out now. 

Laura is quiet for a long time. Robbie lets her digest this news, waits for her verdict, whatever it may be.

“It’s not like it’s a shock, really,” Laura says eventually, “I mean, I’m surprised you’ve noticed it, but then I shouldn’t be. You might not like to talk about feelings, but it’s not like you’re oblivious to them. Why didn’t you say something before now?”

“I don’t know, love. I was scared. I didn’t want to lose him and I didn’t want to lose you. I love you too, you know? I guess I just figured that as long as I could work with him and come home to you I’d be alright. But with the retirement… I’m worried I’m going to lose him. And now I’m worried I’m going to lose you too.”

“Oh, Robbie,” she leans over to press a kiss to his cheek. “You won’t get rid of me this easy.”

“Really? You’re okay with this?”

Laura looks at him, exasperated. “Robbie, love, I’ve known you for oodles. Do you really think I didn’t know how you feel about James? Do you really think I haven’t thought about how I’d feel sharing you with him? Truth is, I’d rather share you than lose you. And no, I don’t feel like I’m being shortchanged if you give some of your love to James. And maybe, one day, I hope he might not be averse to sharing his heart with more than one person too.”

Robbie stares at her, nonplussed. 

“What, I told you he’s dishy. I might just love him a little bit too.”

He laughs, relieved. “But what am I going to do about James?”

“You’re going to talk to him.”

\----

“I hope you don’t feel it’s been a waste, being my boss,” James says, clasping his beer glass tightly.

“It wasn’t a waste, it was a pleasure,” Robbie answers automatically. Then Laura’s words echo through his mind. He tries again. 

“James, lad, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about… well, about us.”

James’ expression tells him that he’s bollocksing this up. James is already on a tipping point. If he wants him to come closer, rather than pull back for good, he’s going to have to be careful about this.

“What I mean is, that with us soon not being governor and sergeant any more… I’d like us to be friends, real friends. On even footing, if you get my drift.”

James’ expression evens out a bit, although he still looks wary. “I do, Robbie, thank you.”

“Good. And if you ever… well, once you’ve sorted yourself out a bit and know what you’re going to do, once you’re settled… if you’d want to be more than just friends…”

James’ eyes have gone wide and Robbie can see the panic starting to rise. He holds up a placating hand. “Not that I expect anything, lad. I just wanted to tell you that I’m not blind and that it’d be okay. I’d like it. And Laura and I have talked and she…”

At that, James stands up abruptly. “I have to go.”

“James,” Robbie tries again, but James is already walking away.

Dammit. He’s bollocksed it up after all. 

\----

It’s been three months and apart from a few uncomfortably polite pints at the pub with them, James has been courteously ignoring any attempts that both Robbie and Laura have made to get him to spend some time with them.

James is awkwardly finding his feet in his new position at work and while he seems more settled into his own skin, he doesn’t seem any happier than he had before he went on his Walk. Laura’s been telling Robbie to push the lad, to force him to acknowledge his feelings whether he wants to or not, but Robbie’s not so sure that it wouldn’t send him running off again. He thinks the stealthy approach holds more chances of success. 

He gets his way in when Innocent phones him out of the blue to offer him his job back. 

James politely resists at first, both on the job and privately, but Robbie wears him down. He’s learned a few tricks over the years. A real James-wrangler he is. 

\---

They’re pulling the canoe out of the river, Robbie bending forward to secure the paddles, when suddenly there’s a hand on his shoulder pulling him upright. Robbie turns and raises his eyebrows, opens his mouth to ask James what’s wrong. He doesn’t get that far. 

James, hand still clamped around Robbie’s shoulder, leans forward and presses his lips against Robbie’s in a sudden, almost harsh kiss. Talk about being pushy. 

Robbie moans instinctively. 

When James starts to pull back, Robbie grabs him by the front of his jacket and reels him back in. 

“Oh no, you don’t,” he growls, before kissing him again, deepening the kiss. This time it’s James who moans. 

They almost lose the canoe. 

\----

Laura gets home that evening to find them on the sofa in the living room, curled into each other and snogging like teenagers. They don’t notice her coming in and only when she pointedly clears her throat, do they pull apart. James blushes furiously when he meets her eyes. 

“Laura,” James says, his voice rough. 

“About damn time,” Laura answers, but neither of them seem surprised by the non-sequitur. 

“Care to join us, love?” Robbie asks. 

Laura keeps her eyes on James’ when she answers, “If I’m not interrupting?”

James shakes his head and reaches out towards her when she comes around the sofa. He pulls her down onto his lap, squishing her between himself and Robbie. Robbie’s heart beats giddily. 

Laura gently frames James’ face with her hands. “You alright, love?”

“Yes,” James nods again. “Laura, can I…” 

“Come here,” she says warmly and pulls him close to press kisses to his forehead, his cheeks and, finally, his mouth.

Robbie stays silent, lets them get to know each other in this way. He keeps one hand on James’ shoulder and his other is wrapped firmly around Laura’s hips to stabilise her slightly precarious position between the two of them. He’s relieved to find that watching them kiss is really turning him on. 

Eventually, Laura breaks their kiss and leans back against Robbies chest. She’s still watching James. Robbie does too, prepared to do… he’s not even sure what. But he needn’t have worried. There’s a bright smile on James’ lips, kiss swollen as they are, and he looks happier than Robbie’s ever seen him before. 

\----

They don’t exactly scream their relationship from the rooftops, but they’re not keeping it secret either. Robbie couldn’t care less what his colleagues are saying - what with him being mostly retired and all. It doesn’t really affect Laura’s work, and James just raises his chin in challenge at anyone who might have something to say about their unorthodox solution to the problem of three people being in love with each other. Lizzie Maddox and Jean Innocent make for some formidable back-up. 

Lyn takes some time to get used to the idea, but in the end she just wants to see her dad happy. Nell finds out by accident and if she doesn’t approve, she keeps her opinion to herself. She seems to care mostly about James finally reconciling with his father; and it could be that she credits Robbie’s influence with this positive development too much to try and interfere. 

It’s not always easy, the three of them together. They’re all independent people and not a little stubborn at times. But they make it work.

\----

_Robbie lies in bed at night, sandwiched between two people he loves and thinks that, for the first time in a long time, he doesn’t feel the need to ask himself ‘what if…’._


	2. DVD Extra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t fit this into the main fic, but didn’t want to delete it. So here’s a tiny DVD Extra Deleted Scene. ;)

“No you didn’t,” Robbie says to Laura as they start walking down the gravel path. “I was a bad tempered old grouch who smelled of wood glue.”

“Yeah, but you were my bad tempered old grouch who smelled of wood glue,” she answers with a cheeky grin. She reels Robbie in by his tie and kisses him.

“Robbie,” James voice rings out loudly. 

They break apart and turn to face him. 

“I know what Rose Anderson found out,” James continues as he quickly strides towards them. 

“Well, if it isn’t my dishy DI,” Laura says. 

James stops in front of them and graces her with one of his more genuine smiles. 

“Hello, Laura,” he greets her. 

She repeats her move from earlier, but this time it’s James who gets reeled in by his tie and treated to a kiss. Robbie smiles at her antics.

When she lets James go and he straightens, Robbie can see the momentary flash of concern in his features as he looks around for anyone who might’ve seen them. Then he visibly shakes himself out of it and turns to smile at Robbie. 

“She’s in a good mood today.”

Robbie waggles his eyebrows suggestively. “We’ve had a bit of a lie-in this morning.”

Before he can respond, Laura grabs James’ arm, leans close and whispers, “Gonna make it up to you tonight.” 

James blushes, but his eyes sparkle. “I look forward to it.”


End file.
